1. Indians have a long way to go in sex education. They did a survey and asked married Indian women if they have had an orgasm.” 80% said, No. The rest, 20%, said, yes, they had one. They had it installed in the kitchen last year.

2. In India, they did a survey of graduating high school students on their career choices. 10% said they want to be doctors or engineers. Another 10% said they want to be Uber drivers.The rest 80 percent were too busy answering tech support calls from America.

3. I don’t like Indian doctors, especially Hindus because they believe in reincarnation. This disease is too complex. My Rx: a fresh start. A clean slate. Besides you can save a bunch of money by switching to a new life.

4. A friend at work asked me why do Indian immigrants always appear gloomy. I said they are worried about their 401K/retirement plans. They only last for this lifetime. There is no roll over feature for next life.

5. It’s stupid that Indians are so competitive over mundane thing: My car is fancier than yours, my house is more expensive than yours, my cholestrol is higher than yours. My husband’s cholestrol level was 190.”Mine was 350. He died of a heart attack. “OK, you win!”