1. My kids were standing in the backyard and these two deer were staring at them. Suddenly my son, Neil, said something and the deer ran away. When asked, he said, “I simply asked them if they wanted to try my mom’s Indian cooking? Maybe, a little Aloo Gobhi?

2. I get worried about my sons getting older because weddings are so expensive. People get so elaborate. I told my son, “Son, I just want one thing from you when you meet that special girl. Elopement. Surprise us!”

3. Most Indians lack a sense of humor. The only time I saw my uncle laughing was when his kid tried to divide a number by zero.